BEST FRIEND: PEARL OF MY LIFE

She was actually harder to describe than I thought it would be. To get started, I checked the dictionary that stated a friend is "a person who knows and likes another, a person who favors and supports and a person who belongs to the same side or group."

By these definitions I have hundreds, maybe thousands, of friends, but I truly believe it goes beyond these definitions. A friend must do much more than like you. To me, a friend is someone who knows all about you and likes you anyway. Being a friend means more than recognizing that no one is perfect, it means accepting it.

I have lots of friends but there’s only one whom I consider possessing the above qualities. She is of the same age as I am. She was my former classmate in elementary. We were not that close yet. I knew her but not that intimate.

When I studied in high school Seminary, we did not have the chance to talk. We saw each other in streets, church and in their school but we did not have any break to chat. But everything changed during our last year in high school. Before graduating, I had the opportunity to get her number. We shared what happened in the past three years and eventually as time passed by, we became best friends.

She was one of the reasons why I continued my vocation. I was attracted to her persistence of answering God’s call. She made me realize how deep my relation to God is. She was firm in her decision of entering the convent and I was stimulated by it. She taught me to pause for a while and reflect on my situation.

In our college life, we remained intact with each other but when we were in our second year, we totally lost our communication. She left to study in other place leaving no notice of any kind. I was dismayed of what happened but still hopeful to find a way to talk to her.

Nearing the summer break, I got her number from one of our friends. The first time we talked after a year, she explained to me that she tried to tell me she was going to Caloocan City. She even tried to get my new number but failed to do so. We shared lot of things that we left untouched during the year of misery.

She is my best friend, a special person in my life. We may not have the possibility to go out yet but I know that she is my friend for a friend is someone you trust to be with him or her when you are at your weakest and most vulnerable. You always get your strength from a friend. Friends are people who, no matter how painful it is to see, are willing to be with you when you are so helpless and weak. If you would trust your life to her, and vice versa, you are friends. It is not about whether she is trustworthy, or whether she is friendly. It is the actual act of trust that is the basis of friendship.

I miss my best friend now. I realized how grateful I am to have her as my best friend. She would always be my best friend until the end. She is my inspiration, my guide. If God will give me the kismet to choose among my memories to remain with me forever with no doubt it is the memory of her being my best friend.

The more than three years that she spent her life with me as best friends were indeed memorable. I know that when it will be the time for her to decide to embark on a new journey of her life, I will feel a pinch in my heart. I have a special friend now but her memory will forever linger in mind. She is and will always be—one of the great treasures in my life.

Perhaps, God created special friends like Sherlyn to remind us that no man is an island. She is a reminder that we need one another, not necessarily as lovers, but in a very special way where we could become better persons, explore our potentials, overcome our fears, and reach for our goals in life.

THE GREATES LOVE OF ALL

In the song, "Greatest Love Of All," Whitney Houston assert that the greatest love of all is to love yourself.

“Learning to love yourself.It is the greatest love of all.”

In contrast, the Sacred Scripture has a different idea about love, especially what constitutes the greatest love. The Bible expresses that the love of God is great and beyond understanding. God's love is compared to the height of the heavens above the earth and even beyond. Jesus defined the greatest love, as recorded in the gospel of John: “Greater love has no one than this that He lay down his life for his friends.[1]”

God can love us in any way even deeper and more complete than we even imagine. Before going further, let us try to reflect first on the following questions namely, what is love? Where does love come from? What is the greatest love of all? How is the love of God shown?

The true meaning of love has been corrupted in the common usage of our languages and societies. Most often, love is confused with infatuation that jubilant, "high" feeling we get when we "fall in love." This kind of "love" is something that lasts typically less than a year, and unless replaced by true love, results in broken relationships. The term “love” has been often used and misrepresented. When we say love, we speak of a wide range of subject. It can either be love of friends, love of country, love of work, love of family, love of partner, love of neighbor, and love of God.

The Sacred Scripture indicates that love is from God. In fact, it says "God is love." Love is one of the primary characteristics of God. Likewise, God has endowed us with the capacity for love. This capacity for love is one of the ways in which we are created in the image of God.

God’s love is fundamental for our lives. Our love is usually conditional and based upon how other people behave toward us. This kind of love is based upon familiarity and direct interaction. We love based on feelings and emotions that can change from one moment to the next. In contrast, God’s love is an unconditional love. It is not based on feelings or emotions. It is born from within Him, not from what He finds in us. St. John says it like this: “This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us.” Does He love us because of our kindness? Is it because of our great faith? Is it because of our goodness that He loved us? No, He loves us because of His goodness, kindness, and great faith. He loves us because he wanted so and not because we love Him.

God loves you simply because He has chosen to do so. God proved His love by sacrificing His own son for us. Jesus is the symbol of that greatest love of all. Jesus fulfilled this greatest love by dying for us so that we could be forgiven of all our sins and have fellowship with God.

God’s love is something that is not only seen but felt by the heart. It doesn’t have exact explanation. All we need to understand it is an open mind that sees the message through people and events in our daily lives and an open heart to comprehend the message across.

[1] John 15:13

IS GOD REAL?

Many religions now are engaged with debates like in the Philippines argue who is the true if not the best religion. Only one I do not hear engaging in debate and that is Roman Catholic. Now I had read an article about a debate of a Catholic pastor and famous writer, Rick Warren and a famous atheist named Sam Harris. Now the debate lies on the question: Does God exist?

To start with, the debate was excellent. They tackle lots of topics from God’s existence to Humanity. There are also some intriguing questions that a believer and atheist can ask themselves. I was impress on Sam Harris that he can really defend his argument unlike Rick Warren not so because he is sometimes changing the topics instead of defending. Some of the excellent questions were the following: Do you believe on Creation? Do you think that religiously motivated good works are actually harmful? Is the soul of one person being in jeopardy because he has rejected Jesus Christ? But of course above all is the question Is God real?

One of the better questions that struck me is the question when you are born in a different country will you might different religion or even becoming an atheist? In our present day, we become a Muslim, Catholic or an Atheist because we grew up of it. If we were not baptized as a Catholic during our childhood, do you think we are still a Catholic even up to this time? Maybe not, but what important is that you made your choice of staying on what you believe on not because you were raise as a Catholic or something but because you trust on your belief.

At the end of the debate, I was kind of unsatisfied because I wanted more from the debaters to tackle more deep topics that will intrigued me to asked many things. It was also disappointing that only Rick Warren gave the last thought. And to his last words, I was still displeased, “We’re both betting. He’s betting he’s right. I’m betting my life that Jesus was not a liar. If I’m right, he’s lost everything. I’m not willing to make that gamble”, for belief on one thing is not a gamble. It’s never been that way. Belief is something you trust on and not to think for the sake that you just hold on to so not to lost if it is true.

PHILOSOPHICAL REFLECTION ON THE PROBLEM OF UNBELIEF

Do you believe in god? Does god exist? If god exists, is he an obstacle to human? These are just some few questions being answered in the history of humanity. We can observe that faith is always included to mans’ business or issues. Yes, it is a great issue in a way it attracts men to debate whether to believe or not.

When we talk about unbelief, we come up with the idea of an atheist. There are the ones who are famous if not the most common example. Most believers think of an atheist as someone not virtuous. They think that being an atheist means living in hell. Likewise, some atheists think that god is a barrier to mans’ life. Who is correct? Well, I can not tell but let’s examine them. Some atheist especially the humanist consider god as a shackle to mans’ improvement by means of thinking that he is the reason why people do this and do that. We lower ourselves to uplift god or he is giving us problems in life to solve rather than enjoying our life.

While some believers think that their faith is firm in a way they do not want to accept the possibility that their belief can be a mistake. They even try to cover up for the mistakes like saying that “error has no rights” or commonly by covering their ears.

Belief is different from knowledge. Knowledge is with certainty there is a period on it while belief is something, by its nature, falsifiable. So we can not say that our belief is strong. Unless we are talking about knowledge not belief for something strong is something that does not need improvement or to further expand but belief must expand to broaden its range.

They are actually different level or types of atheist. We must not be mistaken of who they are for sometimes other atheist are more christianly or more virtuous than us. Is it? Yes, hard to accept but some act manlier than those who are so-called Christians by name. They do good things for other people for the sake of humanity.

We must not take those problems of unbelief negatively instead we must accept it to improve faith or belief for everything has an equivalent doubt. To do this we must first be humble not self-satisfied as they say, “Only those who are humble has the room for progress.”

MOTHER: A JEWEL IN OUR HOME

What is a mother? What makes a mother the best? Mothers look differently from other women. We ordinarily define a mother as a woman who has children to take care of.

From the first sign of life inside her womb, her big role begins. From birth to death, from sunrise to sundown, in sickness and in health, she plays her role well, looking at her children’s well being, acting as their guardian angel.

I remember a small gift we gave our mother during one Mother’s Day celebration many years back. It has a message that reads:

Mother
Where would I be without you,
How could I stand tall, were it not for my
Mother’s loving care
I would likely be nowhere at all.

But what makes them so especial?

A mother is dedicated. I think with few exceptions, no one is more dedicated than a mother. One thing that amazes me about mothers that I have known is the level of dedication they show towards their family and children especially some of the single mothers like my own mother. A mother works hard for the upkeep of her family. Single mothers work twice because of the absence of their husbands. My mother works hard everyday just to give us comfortable life. She goes home late in the evening and yet upon arriving, continues her works, sleeps late and still rises early to go to office. I cannot ask for more from my mother. She is so dedicated in her responsibilities. My mother and other mothers deserve a bundle of credit. Raising kids is tougher than it normally looks.

A mother is strong. Toughness does not only mean physical. A mother is tough inside. When you become a mother for the first time that is the time you start to realize your true inner strength. I do not know how much my mother can carry through, but I am sure it took some fortitude to squeeze out three kids. I do not think any woman realizes her true strength until she becomes a mother. You have another life to look after and it is not about you anymore. My mother is one of the strongest people I know – spiritually and emotionally. She carried on with grace when many people would give up or cop out. She is pretty strong physically too, for her age and although she had some real health problems and illnesses, she is still quite active but her biggest strength is her character.

Mothers are known to be strong spiritually and emotionally. Why? In the Philippines, mothers are the ones convincing other members of the family to celebrate Holy Eucharist on Sunday. They are also the ones who fill the church during weekdays. They are religious as the Spaniards taught them to be. They are also strong emotionally. In the family, mothers are the ones who can control their emotions. Mothers are the ones setting the tone if the emotions of the other members of the family are out of control. Mothers are the ones softening it. She is the one who stops any quarrel among her children. Mothers have amazing amount of strength for many reasons, the strength that fulfils the multi tasks; the strength to keep on going through sleepless nights, the strength to face the challenges of raising children and the strength to be a career woman, cook, housecleaner, seamstress, chauffeur, nurse, tutor, counselor, and wife. My mother is incredibly a strong woman. Despite the many hardships she faced she never gave up and always strived to be the best person she could be. We were very lucky to have her as a mother.

A mother is humorous. The funniest member of a family is the mother. A mother cracks jokes. My mother always changes the mode of the home by making jokes. We laugh with gusto whenever she makes jokes. Children always want the joke of their mothers. It may be common or not, but there is something that makes it humorous. I love to listen to mothers who are telling stories. They do not only tell stories. From what I heard, they also insert jokes. They entertain people with their words. In a house, the mother is always the one entertaining the guests. They are really icebreakers.

A mother is compassionate. Mothers give to others even what is supposed to be theirs. My mother did not coddle us, and did not let us make any excuses for ourselves. I may not know much about parenthood, but I do know that being a mother means not always being your kid's best friend, but being strict once in a while. Teaching your kids to squeeze once in a while is a valuable lesson. My mother is pretty compassionate. Many times, she makes me see someone else’s side when I get too judgmental. She always helps the down and out or unfortunate even when they may not be very thankful to her. She is still kind-hearted even to those who put her down during her young age. She still lends them money if they ask her some. She helps them when they are in trouble. This is my mother; she cared about others above herself.

A mother is a warrior. A warrior is a protector of the people. Like a warrior, a mother creates a safe place for a child to be comforted. We, children, feel that the safest place is being with our mothers. Even a baby recognizes this safest place for him or her through his or her mothers’ arm where the baby sleeps well. We feel safe with our mother even when we grow old and have problems. When in trouble, the very person that we look for is our mother. The touch of the mother removes the pain of a wound. She is a doctor. She heals every sickness there is that her child has, she watches her child every second. She sometimes does not sleep just to check the condition of her child. I often see mothers visiting their sick sons in the seminary. They do not even wait to finish whatever they are doing when they hear that their son is ill. They are like warriors who secure their children from harm.

A mother is beautiful. By becoming a mother, a woman is nearly assured of one thing for the rest of her life. There will always be someone who thinks she is beautiful. Every child thinks that his or her mother is pretty. Their looks are undeniable, and their vanities have become a running gag in a family. Some people think that the meaning of beauty is wearing high heels and a mini-skirt, but beauty can be emulated via many things. A woman can be beautiful trying to raise a man, a woman can be beautiful trying to make money out of a coin or telling her child their a gift and not a burden – they made that choice to have them after all. It is not just an external thing. It is internal, too. My mother is a beautiful lady. She is beautiful inside as well as outside. She has the most beautiful smile and a wonderful laugh. I was blessed with a beautiful mother; in fact all the mothers are beautiful to their children. The beauty of a mother is not with the clothes she wears. It is not the skin she has. We can see the beauty of a mother through her eyes where it is connected to her heart. It is her loving care to her family that makes her beautiful.

A mother is pure. When we talk about purity, we come out at once with the idea that babies are the only ones who are pure. But purity does not only connote having no sin. Mothers for me are pure. They are pure in a sense that they do not tell their children that one thing is wrong if they are doing it. The greatest example here is our Mother Mary. She taught Christ how to live in harmony and become an example not only to her son but to others also. She is pure not because she has no sin but because she is an example to all. My mother is pure. She lives a life for a model for us her children. She does not teach something which is against the will of God. As one poem says: “And that is why in this world there could not be another who could fulfill God's purpose as completely as a MOTHER.[1]” It is their heart that makes them pure, a heart of gold.

A mother is influential. No one is more close to us than that of our mother. We obey what our mothers say. We accept advices of our mothers and even the sayings are acknowledged. A word of a mother can make a difference. In reality and movies, a mother has great influence to her powerful sons or daughters. Their words are important. A man listens more to his mother rather than his wife for his mother had influence d him so much. As a quote says, “A man loves his sweetheart the most; his wife the best, but his mother the longest.[2]” When a mother dies, it is very hard to accept. Memories of care and love will strike one’s life. Her teachings will live forever to her children. It always amazes me the great influence of a mother to a child.

In the seminary, one of the most influential people in the life of a seminarian is that of his mother. A mother is very supportive to the vocation of her son. As I observe, most of the visitors of the seminarians are their mothers. They always want their sons to become priest. One of the priests said that he became priest not because only of his own calling but because of his mother’s influence. Mothers are really influential to their children’s decision. Whoever will try to convince a child, mothers will win.

A mother is wise. We sometimes say that wisdom comes with age and experience. My mother is very wise, and so are many mothers I know. We can all learn much from listening to our mothers. They taught us since we were babies. They tried several times to teach us our first word. And most of the baby’s first word is that of the name of the mother. They educated us before we enter schools and up to the time we are studying in schools, they still help us in our assignment. They become our private tutor when we are lagging behind. Mothers have a stronger connection to the earth. They know what nurturing is all about, and they intuitively know how foolish it is to abuse the eco-system and march off to war when it is not an absolute necessity. I wish more World Leaders were mothers. My mother like other mothers has a way at looking at things that always make everything easier to deal with. She always manages to stay calm and reasonable. She always looks at the world with understanding and compassion which sometimes I have trouble doing. Mothers are really wise.

A mother loves lifetime. No one can explain the depth of love of a mother. We say that it has no beginning or no end. The love of a mother is so much precious. We children sometimes think that we are not loved by our mother when they whip us. But at the back of it, a mother never wants to hurt her son. If necessary she does not want to hit her son. It is more painful for a mother to hit her son. I always smile when I see a mother trying to hit her son but she is only forced to do such. The love of a mother cannot be destroyed or can be taken away by others. A mothers’ love is a life long commitment.

The love of a mother is full of dreams, pains and pleasure. It is full of dreams because a mother always thinks of the future of her sons or daughters. A mother’s love is full of pain because a mother accepts all the pain just to relieve her son from other pains. A mother will accept all just for her children. A mother’s love is full of pleasure because a mother always shows her children that they are in comfort. She never lets her children feel that they are in hardship. The love of a mother can never be compared to others. It is a love of lifetime.

Most of us neglect the importance of a mother. We are blind of the reality that the works of a mother is difficult. We can even say how much we appreciate their loving care. Let this be a lesson to us all. Let us not then close our eyes to see the importance of mothers in our life.

We sometimes see that the works of a mother is so much easy but we are actually wrong. They just act as if it is easy but at the back of it, it’s not. We cannot do what they are doing.

In the seminary for instance, we see most of the time mothers who attend our school gatherings. This helps in building confidence of their seminarian sons as well as a moral booster. Mothers are the best. They are dedicated, strong, compassionate, humorous, pure and influential.

Despite the things they do, they are still pure and beautiful. Let us then show our gratitude to our mothers by saying how much we love them for the only thing that will gladden the heart of a mother is the phrase “I love you” coming from her sons or daughters.

In our prayers, let us not forget to pray for our mothers, too for her unconditional love. That is one great thing to do because she is and will always be—one of the great treasures in life; a jewel in our home.

Bibliography

[1] Http://www.fathershands.com/Whatisamother/
[2] Http://mothersday.about.com/od/entertainment/a/motherhood_quot.htm