WHAT IS DEATH?

“Bryan, this is the mother of Alexandra. She died last Tuesday.” When I heard those things from her mother, I became weak and I wanted to cry. After that conversation, I began to reminisce the times she laughed and told me her problems. I was shocked with what her mother had told me.

I want to relate my story and connect it about being. What is a being? Can we consider the dead as a being? What are the differences between the dead and the living? Why is it that we only learn to treasure the existence of someone when he or she is dead?

According to the book, “Central Problems of Metaphysics”, being means that which is, or is present, in some way. It is also said that being includes everything. From the definition of being can we consider the dead people as beings? For me, the answer is yes because I still think of them. According to the book, beings are those we can think of. Even though the dead people have lost their existence, they are still considered as beings but with limitation. This limitation is on the way they reveal themselves or what we call essence. They are limited because they are unable to act. From we studied, a being reveals himself through actions and we know that the dead people lost their existence. Their essence as beings is now limited in the way they are put in.

The only thing that differentiates a dead from the living is that of their essence. A living can reveal himself in different ways like showing how good he is on something. The dead has the only essence of the just a dead body because it cannot act unlike the living. The only differ of action or their essence. For example, my dead friend cannot move anymore while I still can. The more I act the more I reveal myself. We differ from the way we express ourselves. She cannot express herself anymore because she is dead but I can still express myself to others because I am still alive.

I have been asking myself, “Why is it the time we only treasure someone when he or she is already dead?” I came to realize that when our loved ones are still alive, we do not think of the thinks they have done rather we think of the things they can still do. For example, a son does not think of what her his mother had done for him but he thinks of those things his mother can give like the things he does not possess or those things he longs for. We fail to appreciate the beauty of someone’s presence. We do not acknowledge even the little things they have done for us. We must in a way treasure every moment we have with them for there will come a time that they will or we will be dead.

I want to share with you my experience that is related to my topic. It was Easter Sunday, when I received a call from an unregistered number. I answered the call and asked who it was. The woman answered, “Bryan, this is the mother of Alexandra, she died last Tuesday.” When I heard it, I thought it was a joke but it wan not. Her mother continued talking. “ She has been suffering from leukaemia for more than five years. Then last Monday, she was totally depressed with you said to her but I will never blame you for her death. We have already accepted and awaited her eternal rest. She does not want you to know her condition because she does not want you to worry about her. And before she died, she keeps saying that she loves you and she is happy to die because at last she will be at your side, as she wishes. She also said that she would be you angel to guide you and look for you.”

I started to cry and blamed myself because last time I told Alex that she could not fall in love with me for the reason that I wanted to become a priest and in priesthood there is a vow of celibacy wherein they cannot marry. She cried and hanged up the phone. From then on, I lost my contact with her. I tried to find some way to see how she was doing. Until her mother told me the news, so I went to Manila last May to visit her grave. My knees became weak. Then I started crying when I saw something written on her grave. It was the last thing I said to her when she was still alive that is “We must accept what God wants.” While I was crying, I remembered the times we spend talking and debating on different topics. The times I would receive morning greetings and the moments she shared some of her secrets. Until now, I cannot stop thinking about her especially when I am alone. I always remembered the times she would wake me up early in the morning because of her nightmares.

I failed to show Alex how important she was and how I appreciated the things she has done for me like reminding me of something. Above all, I failed to show her how grateful I am for coming into my life.

The dead people are important to us. We always put them in our mind. We must show everyone especially those who are still alive how important he or she is to us in order to avoid the same mistake I have done. We must treat every moment with them as the last for we do not know what might happen next. We should respect them because someday we will also be dead.