“We ought to pray always,” this
is the phrase I often hear being taught in Catholic Schools, Seminaries, homes
and in the homilies of priests. It is also the phrase, which St. Paul said in
one of his letters. Christ is not only asking us to always pray but also to
pray for our enemies. But is this possible? This is the question I would
reflect on this.
One of my earliest memories is
the occasion when around the age of eight or so, our family was in a great
crisis. It started with financial. My father came from a high-class family.
They had much money that as they say your eyes could not easily counted. They
had almost everything. But as people say money does not last long it is only
temporary, they started to lose almost everything that even when my father and
mother settled; they were getting the salary of my father. I could say it was
the turn around of my life.
The money that keeps us safe is
only the salary of my mother. My mother did not say anything even though it is
our right that the salary of my father should be used for our sake. It was only
until my grandmother and aunts, the mother and sisters of my father, started to
get some money not only from the salary of my father but also to my mother’s
salary.
My mother did not anymore keep
silence. She did not allow them to impose superiority over us. She did not give
her salary. My grandmother and aunts then went to our house and started to
shout as if we did something wrong to them.
My sister and I were locked in
our room that is why I was not able to see what really happened. Though, I
could not see it, it did not prevent me from hearing things like some of the
yell of angry voices of my grandmother and aunts. It did not also prevent me
from hearing sounds of slaps. I could immediately sense that they, my aunts
slapped my mother because after it, I could only hear the sound of tears from
my mother.
It was because of that incident
that I saw my mother in her dark room one night past, praying the rosary while
tears of sadness flowing from her eyes. It was that moment that I was like a
being stab in my heart endlessly. It was a different night from her usual ones
because she usually prays every night with the lights on but not with that
night. I know and feel that she was in pain that night. It was not only because
of the tears as the evidence of pain but the instinct of a son to a mother.
As I slowly approached my mother,
I felt emptiness in me, emptiness as solid as the emptiness of a tomb. I was
like cold as a dead man. Everything was in question that time. Everything seems
to be new to me.
When finally, I reached my
mother, I asked her why is she crying? At once, I know that it was still
because of what happened that leads to several crises in life. She looked at
me, tried to bring out a smile and said, “It is nothing.” She continued, “Let
us just pray hard for our own sake and also pray for our enemies.” Immediately,
young as I was, I thought to myself that was a martyrdom act. Why do we need to
pray for my enemies? They are those people who tried to hurt you, bring you
problems in life. After all what they wanted you to feel, you would still pray
for them.
My mother as if reading my mind
said “you must not do any bad things to them as they did to you for the reason
that you did not want what you experience or feel and so it is just proper that
you must not also do it to them or even to other people.”
As I look at it now, it was
really something. What my mother answered back to me was really something. It
may look like it is impossible for someone especially for me to pray for my
enemies in that time. I thought, as if I was already giving up the fight that I
was in. I thought that the right thing to do at that time was not to pray for
my enemies but revenge. I thought justice must be served. But my mother taught
me that it is not revenge but love. She taught me that justice is not the thing
that is in my mind but revenge.
As I grow older and looking back
at the answer of my mother, I realized that there was no war or any battle at
all to compete with. It was only the imagination of the pride of the “I.”
My mother instilled in us values.
She taught us that values are not something to be possessed. They are not
something to have but something to be.
The experience that I have
related maybe looked like as if it was an ordinary situation but for me who
accepted the words of my mother is a turning point towards prayerful life. My
experience taught me on the one hand pray for the enemies and on the other hand
revenge is not the answer.
Is praying for my enemies
impossible? It is not, my mother showed and taught me that it is not impossible
and it is a must as a Christian Catholic for Christ who is the Good said so. My
mother taught me to pray for their change of heart
It is not enough, as a Christian,
just to avoid harming others. Justice is not the only thing being demanded from
me. Jesus is also demanding from me to love others even my enemies. He clearly
states it in the example of my mother. Love has various forms of expressions.
Praying is only one of the many simple ways of expressing that love.
The music of praying for others
even for our enemies is the main lesson that I have learned from that
experience. My mother did not only tell me but showed me how. Her example did
not only inform me but struck it in my heart.
My heart bled from what had
happened. Despite it, the pain is dwarfed and engulfed by the faith of my
mother through her example. In the gasping wound that brought out by the
experience came the music of the sphere, the harmony in praying. It rings so
deep in my heart, so true; it answered the long heart-rending of my soul. This
event in my life sings a hope. It stressed my heart how to love others through
the music of praying.
The music of prayer beckons me
out of the tomb of emptiness and back into the world. The experience brought
hard music of pain but also a music that comforts through the lesson of valuing
prayer that will be my instrument throughout the rest of my life.
