THE MUSIC OF PRAYER

“We ought to pray always,” this is the phrase I often hear being taught in Catholic Schools, Seminaries, homes and in the homilies of priests. It is also the phrase, which St. Paul said in one of his letters. Christ is not only asking us to always pray but also to pray for our enemies. But is this possible? This is the question I would reflect on this.

One of my earliest memories is the occasion when around the age of eight or so, our family was in a great crisis. It started with financial. My father came from a high-class family. They had much money that as they say your eyes could not easily counted. They had almost everything. But as people say money does not last long it is only temporary, they started to lose almost everything that even when my father and mother settled; they were getting the salary of my father. I could say it was the turn around of my life.

The money that keeps us safe is only the salary of my mother. My mother did not say anything even though it is our right that the salary of my father should be used for our sake. It was only until my grandmother and aunts, the mother and sisters of my father, started to get some money not only from the salary of my father but also to my mother’s salary.

My mother did not anymore keep silence. She did not allow them to impose superiority over us. She did not give her salary. My grandmother and aunts then went to our house and started to shout as if we did something wrong to them.

My sister and I were locked in our room that is why I was not able to see what really happened. Though, I could not see it, it did not prevent me from hearing things like some of the yell of angry voices of my grandmother and aunts. It did not also prevent me from hearing sounds of slaps. I could immediately sense that they, my aunts slapped my mother because after it, I could only hear the sound of tears from my mother.

It was because of that incident that I saw my mother in her dark room one night past, praying the rosary while tears of sadness flowing from her eyes. It was that moment that I was like a being stab in my heart endlessly. It was a different night from her usual ones because she usually prays every night with the lights on but not with that night. I know and feel that she was in pain that night. It was not only because of the tears as the evidence of pain but the instinct of a son to a mother.

As I slowly approached my mother, I felt emptiness in me, emptiness as solid as the emptiness of a tomb. I was like cold as a dead man. Everything was in question that time. Everything seems to be new to me.

When finally, I reached my mother, I asked her why is she crying? At once, I know that it was still because of what happened that leads to several crises in life. She looked at me, tried to bring out a smile and said, “It is nothing.” She continued, “Let us just pray hard for our own sake and also pray for our enemies.” Immediately, young as I was, I thought to myself that was a martyrdom act. Why do we need to pray for my enemies? They are those people who tried to hurt you, bring you problems in life. After all what they wanted you to feel, you would still pray for them.

My mother as if reading my mind said “you must not do any bad things to them as they did to you for the reason that you did not want what you experience or feel and so it is just proper that you must not also do it to them or even to other people.”

 As I look at it now, it was really something. What my mother answered back to me was really something. It may look like it is impossible for someone especially for me to pray for my enemies in that time. I thought, as if I was already giving up the fight that I was in. I thought that the right thing to do at that time was not to pray for my enemies but revenge. I thought justice must be served. But my mother taught me that it is not revenge but love. She taught me that justice is not the thing that is in my mind but revenge. 

As I grow older and looking back at the answer of my mother, I realized that there was no war or any battle at all to compete with. It was only the imagination of the pride of the “I.”

My mother instilled in us values. She taught us that values are not something to be possessed. They are not something to have but something to be.

The experience that I have related maybe looked like as if it was an ordinary situation but for me who accepted the words of my mother is a turning point towards prayerful life. My experience taught me on the one hand pray for the enemies and on the other hand revenge is not the answer.

Is praying for my enemies impossible? It is not, my mother showed and taught me that it is not impossible and it is a must as a Christian Catholic for Christ who is the Good said so. My mother taught me to pray for their change of heart   

It is not enough, as a Christian, just to avoid harming others. Justice is not the only thing being demanded from me. Jesus is also demanding from me to love others even my enemies. He clearly states it in the example of my mother. Love has various forms of expressions. Praying is only one of the many simple ways of expressing that love.

The music of praying for others even for our enemies is the main lesson that I have learned from that experience. My mother did not only tell me but showed me how. Her example did not only inform me but struck it in my heart.

My heart bled from what had happened. Despite it, the pain is dwarfed and engulfed by the faith of my mother through her example. In the gasping wound that brought out by the experience came the music of the sphere, the harmony in praying. It rings so deep in my heart, so true; it answered the long heart-rending of my soul. This event in my life sings a hope. It stressed my heart how to love others through the music of praying.

The music of prayer beckons me out of the tomb of emptiness and back into the world. The experience brought hard music of pain but also a music that comforts through the lesson of valuing prayer that will be my instrument throughout the rest of my life.